Plus, just getting out, you will feel better about yourself and stop focusing so much on how hard it is to meet women.
There are many other great places to meet lesbians.
You don’t mention if you have tried to have friends introduce you to people.
Letting others know you’re open to meeting new people is a great way to get introduced.
Since you are shy, don’t have your friends “set you up,” rather, have them invite you over for dinner, to a movie or some other social activity you might enjoy with one or two single friends. Also, you talk about your concern of all the roles of butch, femme and what they mean.
I say don’t worry about any of that and just be yourself.